I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ugly people sure do ruin things
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
