i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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