I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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