I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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