in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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