it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
