is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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