absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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