so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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