Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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