I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
