please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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