Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
