I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sext me about skeletons
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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