Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
