i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
