piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
