i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
