why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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