I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
