Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
