Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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