I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look better un-naked...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize