Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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