She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize