hotel room ftw
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
