I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
