What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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