That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm at about main and main street
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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