You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
