shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
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I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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