Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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