I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm passing your future prison.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Drake has all the answers
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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