Cold hands, warm shart.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
