Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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