I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
