Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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