The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
