She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
