god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
