he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
only you would photoshop your dick
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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