if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
