Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
