THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
