And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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