There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
