so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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