"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize