im drinking this country out of the recession.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
