you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize