You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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