fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
