Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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