Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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