It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
