I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
