Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
