It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
