I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
