Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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