So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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