That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
