I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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