You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
