i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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