As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
